Connecting moms in Polk County, Fla.
Wanted to know if you think a 13 year old boy should be sleeping with his mother every night.
While I think most healthy mom son relationships should allow for this not to mean anything untoward - I do think the best place for any 13 year old is in their own bed!
Skanking off to a 13 year old girl's bed is hardly the only alternative here.
Why should he not be allowed?? Perhaps it would be better if he was down the street in a 13 year old girls bed everynight?
Well I do agree. I have tried to premote some indepence in my children. Hoever, Why does everyting have to be a "sexual" thing. We moved down Florida at the end of 97 and I feel that this was the worst thing I have ever did to kids. My son, who is 11, is totally insecure in his new environment. I have to fight with him to sleep in his own room and not have every lite on. I am sorry but I do not agree that there is anything wrong with this. I do not have any idea how old people are on list, but are you not scared? Imagine a child! I do understand that you, and others, may feel better if he was not doing this. However, Does he feel better? People need to think more of the children and less of themselves. Just my opinion.
PS If my parents were not down here and sick I would move back to where it "felt" more secure.
Munchkin Mommy said:
It would be better if he was in his own bed alone. I would question why the child or the mother feels the need to share the bed. Not implying anything sexual, but wondering why the need for co sleeping at this age? Are there psychological issues or any traumatic events in the past?
Scott Osborne said:Why should he not be allowed?? Perhaps it would be better if he was down the street in a 13 year old girls bed everynight?
Of course this is not normal. A 13 year-old, who is not developmentally stunted, should seek the approval of his peer group over his parent. Identifying with peers over parents is normal and is part of learning to become a productive adult. If you think it is okay, try asking his fellow 13 year-old friends what they think of it. If you keep doing this, he will never develop independence and will have great difficulty leaving home later in life.
In general, it would not be good for the kid imo. Maybe it just became a habit and if it was possible to mix it up, go to a hotel where kid got his own bed, mom left kid with grandma a couple nites. Sleepover with trusted friend. SOmething like that might be worth a try. It's impossible to sleep with a kid they hog all the covers and won't let you have room.
My concern would not be so much a sexual concern as a psychological concern. Sounds like there is a separation issue here.
When I see questions like this, I tend to think very carefully before answering. I used to work for attorneys in family law practice, and questions of this sort were the type they'd get in custody cases.
That absolutely may not be the case here, but like I said, it just gives me pause.
As so many others have pointed out, it would definitely depend on what was going on in the child's life. It's not normal by any means for a 13-year-old to be sharing a parent's bed, but that doesn't mean there's not an understandable reason for it in a specific case. "Not normal" doesn't mean bad, just not within the statistical norm.
"Not normal" doesn't mean bad, just not within the statistical norm.