Connecting moms in Polk County, Fla.
ive been going through alot with bullying ,my son has been coming home depressed for 2 1/2 months ,because being picked on hes 10 years old he actually said I should just kill myself.he wears a big winter coat everyday "he says he does this so it wont hurt as bad when students hit him"I started going to his school to sit in on class after he came home with scratch directly beneath his eye where a student attacked him with a pencil,he wore a bruise on the back of his leg for 2 weeks from a boot when a student kicked him,I was at his school at lunch 2 students approached me and state I feel real bad for your son kids always pick on him but they were scared to say anyting for fear it would start being them picked on, on the way from lunch 2 classroom a student was jumping on beams I told teacher and student said "I hate snitching B*****"s And kids said who he said "***" mom meaning me I go to office to report this and principal gets on intercom to tell teacher to send the student to office while on intercom you hear teacher scream "put that down now "I hear a loud crash this student picked up a chair went to where my son was and hit him with it"student was suspended for 3 day this student is already on probation and in 4th grade ,My son comes home monday said"*****he threatened my life today i said what do you mean he said this student said he was going to kill me dead he is going to stab me with a knife . I call school they say without witnesses there is nothing we can do I said im not comfortable with my son going to school they say all we can do is a bully report i said please im scared for my son so they reluctantly did so ,I go to pick up my son and go in office to be told that if the resource officer could not find coaberating evidence that my son could actually be in trouble for falsifying a report <"OH my god" i just couldnt believe I was just told this after everything thats been done to my son ,"talk about trying to intimidate me to back off"any ways resource deputy comes to investigate and had already had run ins with this child still nothing has been done and I had to send my child to school im so scared what can I do
well im keeping my son home today ,im going to call the school and tell them I wont be satisfied until my son or the other student is transferred, I dont see how they can deny me this because they cant promise me that nothing will come from this threat and they wont do daily search im not taking any chances any more, How would I cope if something was to happen .Schools today have enough unforeseen tragedies ,If something was to happen with me being forewarned how would I cope with that i couldnt and I cant see any one expecting me to take that chance,If any of them have children they will understand if not than i guess ill accept the consequences
polk county governments have many evils , the school board being one.
Shannon, so sorry you are going through this and you shouldn't have to for your son. He is a child and the school board is responsible for his safety. There has to be a solution for all in this situation. Hire an attorney. That will get their attention.
Oh my goodness....I am so sorry to hear that you and your son are going through this as no parent or kid should be subject to this. This is what worries us with our son facing Middle School next year. He is shy around girls, some kids he doesn't know yet and is very trusting. He is an ESE student and will do whatever is asked of him because he thinks the kids are friends and they will be pleased. He can tell you right from wrong, but he is impulsive and doesn't think before reacting. We are still going to see the ESE coordinator for Middle School in a few weeks just days before his IEP. Hubby is 100% for home schooling and I'm at 95% for it as well. This is mainly for his safety since last year in 4th grade he slipped past teachers and bus driver to get on a bus when he's a car rider (always has been since starting pre-k). We do not want to sit here each day after dropping him off at school wondering, Did he make it to his classes, did he get picked on or beaten up, did he slip pass everyone to get on a bus, or will he make it back to the car at the end of the day. Already deal with ulcers and this makes it worse.
I was at the end of a bully's torment in 3rd-4th grade. He would run up to me on the playground at recess, kick me on my knees and run off. Told the teachers and they told him to stop. Mom went to school, but they told her without the teachers seeing it, there's nothing that can be done. From that act over and over my knees got a calcium growth below the knee cap. Got surgery in 1995 to get the bone in my right leg filed down because it had a fracture in it. Still got a crack in it, but they could not file it down any further. Never did get the other one filed down. Can't kneel down on my knees (never could because of the calcium growth). I got a little payback in 5th grade when he attempted to bully me with words rather than physically. As he was going to sit down, I pulled his chair and he smacked his chin/moth on the desk. OOPS...LOL He rarely bullied me after that (I heard remarks he would make at times). When I had my surgery I was in High School. He thought it was funny that I was on crutches and threatened to push me down the steps. Beat him to it. I didn't push him, but my crutch accidentally slipped from my grip, tripped him and he fell down a couple steps. Nothing broken but his pride as it was between classes and everyone seen him. He said he slipped on something and fell down. He wouldn't admit what happened. After that, he totally left me alone. Not the best thing to do, but at the time you don't think about what could have happened (you just act).
that is the real world we and our children and grandchildren live in , tabby . you must protect yourself and protect your own as best you can and follow your best judgement with all the knowledge , experience , and advice acquired. life IS a game you learn as you go.
Shannon, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this situation. There's hardly anything that creates a more helpless feeling as a parent.
I recently dealt with something similar with one of my children so I can empathize and I totally understand your frustration. If you haven't already familiarized yourself with the county "bully policy", I highly suggest reading it over (with a fine tooth comb!) http://www.polk-fl.net/districtinfo/boardmembers/documents/1016.pdf Your son has the right to a safe school environment! One of the most important things you can do is DOCUMENT EVERY INCIDENT IN WRITING. It's time consuming but it's an integral part of the whole reporting and investigative procedure. As many incidents as you say there's been, I am very shocked to hear that the "bully" was not relocated to another classroom if not EXPELLED from the school. (Yes, there are provisions for this.) It does sound like you are in the investigative process and the school is required to respond in writing within 10 days. Unfortunately, I've found out that not all schools are in complete compliance with this policy - it's still rather new in the "big picture." That is still no excuse. (As you can tell, this entire issue strikes a raw chord with me.)
I'm not too keen on the whole "moving to another school" solution either because there are bullies at every school. It's not fair to punish the victim by moving them around every time a bully issue arises- it's up to the SCHOOL to enforce their policy and provide for the safest possible learning environment for the child and it's also up to parents to stay involved and advocate for their child's well being. Homeschooling and virtual schooling are other solutions yes, but again, that doesn't solve the root problem and those aren't realistic options for every family.
I will keep your situation in my prayers. I'm not able to post on this forum too often but I will look for updates on this. Just keep in close contact with his teacher (I hope he/she is cooperative) throughout the whole process. Maybe ask the teacher to pair him up with another strong/kind student during class. The buddy system can be a wonderful bullying deterrent!
thank you all for the support ive recieved so far, i just wanted to update you all, I cant homeschool my son wish I could but i have transferred him, im not happy with this either why because there wasnt much available in public school they were all filled for 4th grade in my area except a c level school his other 1 was an a level, plus im responsible for his transportation allthough we live far enough for a bus what is wrong with this my son is the victim here 1st off the bullying started and school couldnt remedy then the threat of the knife (even if he didnt show it ,I take it serious ,and as a possible forewarning)so now i have to uproot him from only school hes attended and it is graded "c" instead of ""a" and i have to out the cost of transportation what the crap is wrong with this picture at least if i have to foot the gas get him the same level school or better if regular public school didnt have availability you think they would offer either a maga or charter school so what now I dont just feel like taking this sitting down
thank you all for your concerns and help im not sure im putting my replies in correct location but i am trying to keep all up to date and informed to show my appreciation and my son likes to read the replies gives him a smile thank you all
If your son was truly afraid (and it sounds like he was), you can file for an order of protection from the court. If one is granted, the other child would have had to been kept away and possibly moved to another school. Then his/her parents would have been responsible for transportation.
A friend's son was bullied and a fight ensued. She went through the court process. The other student admitted to the bullying "just because". He was not able to return to the school and had to transfer as a result.
So the school's response/plan of action was to offer your son the option of attending another school in the district?! I am so sorry. What disciplinary action did the "bully" receive for the repeated threats against your son? This child (bully) is just allowed to carry on in his current school with his current friends and teacher/school that he is familiar with and your son (the victim) is uprooted to a place he is unfamiliar with?.... Excuse me but this entire "solution" seems completely backwards! :( Unfortunately, the root of the problem still exists and this bully is left on his home turf to continue to bully other children. Don't get me wrong...if your son feels safer now at his new school, that is what is most important but to know that this was the school's solution is extremely disappointing. (Another thumbs down for this county's schools, unfortunately....)
you know what I never thought of that, wish i would have.as of yesterday he was transferred from his school. only 1 with availability was a c level school , he was in an a level and had attended since k-4th grade " he was sad about leaving all his teachers but what else could i do, im not happy about this at all. im also responsible for transportation and why should he have to move and to a lower graded school and i foot transportation and cost plus different color uniforms? what is wrong with school system policy for bullying" lets keep the victims VICTIMS?" thank you wish i would have thought of this .im still making calls, wonder if the people i speak with would have continued sending their child if they were told im going to kill you dead im going to kill you with a knife after past history of violence. im not taking not 1 chance how could i deal with guilt of being forewarned and not protecting my child. schools today have enough unforeseen violence for parents to worry about!!!!!!! great thinking
no i requested the transfer because i didnt want to send him,I was to nervous and worried you never know what if the child did bring a knife stab my son no im not going to live threw why didnt i do something but i had no other option than to transfer im not happy but at least im not scared to death because no one herad this there was nothing they could do "wonder if they do the same when students threaten school safety "i think not!"