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Doesn't Work Comment Sparks Mommy Wars

From the above link:

Hilary Rosen, a Democratic strategist, who said of stay-at-home mom Ann Romney Wednesday, "she hasn't worked a day in her life." The comments were made in the context of an argument that as someone who had the choice not to work, Mrs. Romney is unqualified to speak about economic issues facing American women.


Ms. Rosen hoped to lighten her comment by pointing out Mrs. Romney's millionaire status makes her unlike the typical American mom for which she does have a point, but are her remarks forgivable?


I would solidly admit when a work place professional meets me for the first time and inquires, "Just what is it that you do?" I reply with, "I'm a stay-at-home-mom."  I see an almost instant communication detachment and lack of interest in proceeding, even after a very successful and solid conversation. 


I've even had people brave enough to say, "Really?  But you seem so worldly and well versed in topics of today?" 

My question is, why can't a stay-at-home-mom be viewed as a well informed and worldly individual?

Do you feel you and your opinion has ever been discriminated against because you're a stay-at-home-mom?

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Here's my take on the 'worldly' stay at home mom.  I think it's all about how you are as a person whether you work or not.  Believe me I have met many a flake - male and female in my previous and current work environments - I don't honestly think it's a work or stay-at-home mom kind of thing.

If in pre- stay-at-home-mom days you were someone with a finger on the pulse of what's going on around you - I don't think that switches off when you stay home.  Having kids doesn't have to turn you into someone uninteresting - if you come across as a worldly person capable of articulating intelligent conversation when you stay at home - odds are that's what you were when you worked.

As for Rosen's comments - meh - I think she was having a dig at the millionaire status, rather than the at-home-mom status.  I would also say this has ignited mommy wars only among those out looking for something to trip over and feel offended about :)

well said , Fallsmama . i expect  similar protests when romney's religion's differences from Christianity are criticized , even though those same protesters questioned obama's Christian faith..

http://www.ismormonismchristian.com/

When I was a SAHM I will say that I worked for sure, caring for two small boys and a house and other interesting things that entailed. I went to bed exhausted every night.  No holidays, no certain "breaks"... and when they were tiny, sometimes not even a certain shower!  My brain hurts just thinking about it.  And I can also say that my SAHM experience was quite different from working outside the home.

The concerns of a mother who works outside the home, in addition to standard parenting concerns, also include childcare, no sick leave for yourself (because even if you're lucky enough to have it, you end up using it when the kids are sick), knowing that you're one severe illness away from complete financial ruin, no family bonding because you barely make it home in time to throw dinner on the table then hunch over the homework tables...

I don't see folks with maids, chauffeurs, cooks, dealing with these same types of issues.  They don't.  It's just a different world, completely.  The uber-rich can't understand the concerns of the average American woman (employed or SAHM) because, well... most of us out here aren't uber-rich :) .  It's not a slam against the wealthy; it's a simple statement of fact.  For anyone to pretend otherwise is utterly preposterous.

And this -- well said!

Fallsmama said:

As for Rosen's comments - meh - I think she was having a dig at the millionaire status, rather than the at-home-mom status.  I would also say this has ignited mommy wars only among those out looking for something to trip over and feel offended about :)

For me, it's not her knowledge of the economy that I question.  It's that Mitt stated that his wife knew what the women of America worried about.  I postulate that it's simply not possible for her.  Again, I'm not slamming her -- it's just that the realities of life for most women in this country (living on a fixed budget, worrying if an injury or illness will bankrupt their family, weighing whether to send a sick child to school or take the hit in pay and possible employment repercussions) are simply beyond her ken.  She doesn't know because she can't.

She is hardly representative of the average American woman, in any way.  She is a good woman, and in some ways she's been through more than I have -- I've never had breast cancer, for instance.  I also don't presume to speak for breast cancer survivors... because it's beyond my knowledge base.

That's my issue with the entire situation.

what foxians don't rail about : "Romney: Stay-at-home parents lack “dignity of work 

 

 

Most stay at home moms handle the family expenses and stay on top of current topics, etc. My husband is very bright but he also works so hard that he often doesn't have time to stay on top of current events...I am the one who fills him in.

This comment sounds bad...especially taken out of context. I am guessing she was going for the "wealthy" angle. If I was born a millionaire and married a millionaire, I don't know that I would bother to do my own finances or even bother to do anything! I might be tempted to just be a socialite and pretend to know about current events! All kidding aside, I am sure many socialite wives like to stay on top of current events...heck, some of them are probably part of the brains behind their husband's success! I am sure there have been other wealthy first ladies, so I am not sure what this woman was getting at. I would have to hear the whole comment, but in any case, still a poor choice of words.

I started to feel a bit self-concious at my 20 year high school reunion because all the women I spoke to had careers and I was a stay at home mom. Leave it to an old friend to make me feel better. She is now an attorney. I know she has at least two children. When I told her I stayed home, she was amazed. She told me stayed home for a while and it was by far the hardest, yet most rewarding job she ever had!

Ms. Rosen's comments were purely political.  Duh!  We don't seem to hear much about the Kennedy's and other silver spoon spouses from those on the left.  Why should a male or female Kennedy offspring, or name the silver forceped birthed child of inherited wealth, be taken serious about issues that those that work actual jobs, endure? 

Personally, "all" individuals should have the right to express their thoughts and opinions. with respect by the hearers unless the talker(s) abuse civil discourse.  Whether they were raised on silver or plastic, they as humans, should be granted respect.  But I distaste the hypocrisy of many of our media and those of it's non-discriminating viewers.  Those purveyors and supporters of double standards, or no standards. Whom are so easily revealed with just a little light.

 

Fallsmama I didn't want to reply back to your comment until Elvina Nawaguna's written piece came out.  And here it is.   

Stay-at-Home Mothers' Work Adds Up to Significant Worth

I think she really did a great job gathering some very interesting information.

Ms. Nawaguna gave me a call around lunch time on Monday of last week asking me what I thought about the stay-at-home comment made that I originally linked.  She was definitely my inspiration on finding this article and posting it here. 

We spoke at length on the subject.  I wasn't sure how much of what we talked about would be utilized for print. So I waited for it.

This is what she used from our conversation.

Shawn Arnold, a stay-at-home mother who runs PolkMoms.com, said the ability to educate oneself on current affairs is an individual issue.

"I don't think that's a stay-at-home-mom topic. It's a personality topic," she said. "I like to stay very educated and maybe being a stay-at-home mom affords me the opportunity."

So, Fallsmama, I completely agree with you and told the reporter as such.  One staying informed on varied topics is an individual decision whether they research in their pajamas with baby puke stains on their shoulder at 4 a.m. or as a Forbes 500 CEO on their lunch break.  Wanting to stay informed on a varied range of topics has nothing to do with where someone works but who you are and what you want to know. 

that was a great article.  thank you for posting it.

"I Don't Know How She Does It" - a movie starring Sarah Jessica Parker has a comic spin on this topic.  Watched it last night and I thoroughly enjoyed it - I've been in both camps - stay-at-home mom and now a working mom - I found myself nodding and laughing the whole way through.  

Now would be a good time to 'fess-up to Mandy Jay that my kids for the entire week of spring break took 'Uncrustables' to camp with them!  It was more for the novelty to them of having that little package to open - but I have to admit it was awfully handy to slip it straight from the freezer into their lunch box :)

Hehehe!!!  They're fun :)  I'm glad the kids enjoyed them!  And yeah, they're definitely handy LOL



Fallsmama said:

"I Don't Know How She Does It" - a movie starring Sarah Jessica Parker has a comic spin on this topic.  Watched it last night and I thoroughly enjoyed it - I've been in both camps - stay-at-home mom and now a working mom - I found myself nodding and laughing the whole way through.  

Now would be a good time to 'fess-up to Mandy Jay that my kids for the entire week of spring break took 'Uncrustables' to camp with them!  It was more for the novelty to them of having that little package to open - but I have to admit it was awfully handy to slip it straight from the freezer into their lunch box :)

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