Connecting moms in Polk County, Fla.
My oldest son will be getting married in the spring. His bride-to-be doesn't know how to cook. Food has always been an important part of our family. Should I offer to teach her how to cook some of my son's favorite foods or do you think I should just keep quiet?
If he is not worried about it, you shouldn't be either. My mother-in-law offered all kinds of suggestions, in the form of ridicule, for years when I didn't know how to work on my wife's car or mine. This type of belittling put a bad taste in my mouth and our relationship was constantly strained. It's something I can't get over even today. My wife and I made enough money together to just take the cars to a mechanic if and when they needed repairs. Stay out of their business. - C.P. in Dallas, TX
Believe it or not, this is common in many marriages in today's society because of several reasons, especially if they are focused on their careers and are doing well. Plus, since your son already knows that his bride-to-be doesn't know how to cook; it sounds like it is currently not a concern to him. I'm guessing that perhaps they frequently eat out or perhaps if someone does cook, then maybe it's your son. There are many husbands who are the cooks in the family and it works out well. Sometimes, but not always, after adult kids get married, they still enjoy moms cooking their favorite dishes and feel like it's sort of a tradition that they want to preserve. It's possible that your son or his new wife-to-be may feel awkward about asking for the recipes. On the other hand, once they are married for a few years, the lack of cooking knowledge could become an issue, especially if they have children. If so, then she or your son may ask for your help and advice. If I were you, instead of making comments or offering to show her how to make some of his favorite dishes, I would just wait until they bring it up. The last thing you need to do right now is to make her feel bad or inadequate and take a chance on ruining your relationship with her or both of them.
CAN YOU HELP?
Our almost three-year-old doesn't want to share his toys and I think it's fine because when I force him to do so, it seems like the toy always ends up getting broken by the other child. Then I'm left with trying to console my son. But, my friends and some of my relatives, especially my mother-in-law, says I'm wrong to promote this type of behavior and it is showing my son how to be selfish. Am I wrong in no longer making him share his toys? If so, why and what should I be doing?
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