Connecting moms in Polk County, Fla.
Feeding Our Babies
First of all, I do not want to start any arguments, and I hope we can all discuss this maturely. I would like to hear from moms who have both breastfed and used formula. (Other moms are welcome to comment though.) Second of all, please do not try to push your opinions on me or anyone else as it is not the point of this. My child is quite old enough to eat "real" food so I'm not looking for advice. I am starting this discussion purely out of interest and curiosity. Third of all, I am not going to tell you whether I breastfed, formula fed, or used both (oh, the curiosity!) because I would like you to think of me as a silent observer.
So here goes: we all know the breastfeeding is best for baby. That being said, formula has reached a state in the modern times we live in that it is a very good supplement if necessary. There is a strong, passionate push for breastfeeding in American culture especially in the last decade. Many argue that breastfed babies are healthier, connect better, are smarter, the list goes on.
While those things appear to make sense and seem true, in my experience with my friends' children I have found that formula fed babies are much happier, connect with both genders and other people better than breastfed babies, sleep better, and advance just as quickly as breastfed peers.
Which begs several questions: is it possible that our research is skewed? Is it very possible that there isn't THAT much of a difference in the ways we feed our babies? Even if breastfeeding is healthier, is it necessary all the time? Is it because formula became the norm for so long that we feel we must encourage breastfeeding to avoid abuse of the modern availability of formula?
Each baby is different, each mother, each family for that matter. It concerns me that we are so obsessed with returning to what's natural that we sometimes forget natural isn't always the answer.
SO... are any of you pro-breastfeeding but anti-"the-breastfeeding-movement?"
Views: 326
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Christie Henderson on -
I am very much pro-breastfeeding and have done much research (for college papers) that have convinced me of the many benefits. That being said, I don't agree with the the extreme lengths some people go to on both sides of the debate to make it look like their way is the only way. The nutrition a child is provided is only one of many factors that determines who/what they become as adults.
I think it's sad, though, that formula feeding has been pushed as the "better" option for so many years that we have 2 or 3 generations now that don't have any experience or really any information - except misinformation - about breastfeeding. So many people, most of them I know, have either not even tried breastfeeding or only tried it for a week or two and gave up because they thought they couldn't be successful at it.
My experience has actually been the opposite of yours, in that most of the parents I know have children with asthma and other breathing problems, constant colds and ear infections, frequent visits to the hospital for various problems, and even struggle more in school. I don't know, though, how much of that is caused by the actual breastfeeding/formula feeding difference, and how much is a difference in parenting styles and home environment, coupled with basic genetics. That difference in experience, though, shows one of the major risks in relying on personal experience and anecdotal evidence to make decisions about the benefits or risks of something. Your experience tells you that formula may actually be better, while mine tells me that breast milk really is best.
There is no real way to perform a truly scientific and accurate, controlled study of this issue since there isn't a way to effectively control for differences between parents, environments, genetics, personalities of the children, differences in immune systems between individuals, etc. There are just too many variables to ever say conclusively one way or another.
While I love that support and acceptance of breastfeeding is growing, and hope it continues to grow as people have more experience and more mothers support each others' efforts, the extremists on both sides are making it much harder to have honest and healthy discussions about the topic - much like the political divide between extreme factions of both Democrats and Republicans:(
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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth Vincent on -
I was planning on observing only, withholding comments, but I find myself compelled to tell you, "Christie Henderson", that this is to date THE only sensitive, realistic and objective comment I have ever heard/read both online and in person whenever this topic comes up. I really appreciate your intelligence and the time you took to be so thorough.
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Permalink Reply by Christie Henderson on
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Thank you:) It's something that I have a very strong opinion about and wanted to be sure to take the time to make sure that opinion wasn't misunderstood:)
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Permalink Reply by courtney on -
This is my experience so far. I have 3 children 6, 3, 1. So the 6 yr old was mostly formula fed. I tryed breast feeding and we just didn't click and I guess I didn't really know much. I did pump and give her Brest milk once or twice a day for 3 months. But she was pretty much a formula similac baby. Since she has started school she has had bronchitis constantly. She is always coughing I am always doing breathing treatments or running her humidifier. Other than that she is very healthy the weight and height her doctor says she should be and very smart.
Now my 3 yr old. He was both breast feed and formula fed Walmart brand. His health is great but he is a thumb sucker so he does get sick a lot and he has allergies, poor guy. His height and weight are where they should be and he is I think where he should be for knowledge.
Now my 1 yr old was only Breast fed. She refused the bottle. She is my healthiest of all but I also think its cause she is the youngest and still has her baby immunities. She is on the smaller side but not so small that there are any concerns. And she is my earliest talker and very smart. And I think that attributes to having 2 older siblings.
With that being said I don't push either feeding method I am pro breast feeding but I won't shove it down your throat. I am curious to see how my 3 different children grow.
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Permalink Reply by Alicia (Alsan) on -
I have 5 boys now aged 13, 10, 9, 7 and 5. My first was breast fed only - never had a bottle, went straight to the cup. I had a hard time with it at first and remember crying with a newborn, feeling like a failure. But we both got it figured out and it went well. He was quite sickly with respitory issues his first year and still continues with pretty bad allergies. He's a bit socially arkward but does have some friends. He's very very smart but doesn't like to put any effort into school so his grades don't reflect his abilities.
My second got a combination of breast milk and formula. By then I'd gone back to work but worked at the daycare nursery where he was. It was a large program and I assigned someone else to be his primary caregiver during my shift but I would still feed him most of the time. He was horribly colicky though and with a 3 year old and working full time I didn't pump much and by the time he was 4 months old I was pregnant again so I stopped breastfeeding and he got formula from then on. Once we got past the colic though he was and still is the healthiest of my 5. He's very outgoing, makes friends easily and does well in school overall.
My third was born just 13 months after #2 and that was a hard juggle, still working full time with a newborn a one year old and a 4 year old. I was exhausted. He was formula fed throughout the day and breast fed only in the night. Honestly that was because it was easier to grab him out of the bassinet in the night and put him to the boob rather than make a bottle. He was like my 1st, sickly as a baby with respitory issues - he was even tested for cystic fibrosis by the time he was a year. He got RSV at 2 months old and was asthmatic ever since. He still has issues with asthma and allegeries. He's very smart, does great in school, he's not very outgoing but he makes friends easily.
The fourth and fifth were formula fed only. The fourth gets sick very very easily and is epileptic he had developmental delay and was involved in early intervention services since he was one, he has made great strides and is now in a regular ed class but still needs ese support. He's very outgoing and doesn't care what others think of him. He did have salmonella when he was 4 months old and no one else in the house or daycare came down with it. He wasn't on solid food yet nor was he mobile and we *believe* it came from his formula. There have been cases, rarely, of salmonella in formula. It didn't scare me off of formula though and we don't know it for sure that's where he got it. I did continue to use formula with my fifth and he was never sick as a baby. The fifth is very very healthy and rarely gets sick, he has no chronic health issues. He is very shy.
Anyway, I've used both and with some a combination of both. I think it's a very personal decision that each family needs to make. I have formula fed babies that are very healthy and I have breast fed babies that were sickly and I have the opposite as well. One of my formula fed babies is very outgoing and another is almost painfully shy. I think there's so much more that goes into kids development than just what they eat. My husband is asthmatic and has respitory issues and obviously a couple of my kids take right after him. Breast or formula didn't change that.
I'm pro breastfeeding overall but I'm not real supportive of the whole movement. Don't get me wrong, I do think a woman has the right to breast feed her kid at any time in any place. I do remember being embarrased with my 3rd that he was formula fed most of the time and I did get some comments from others about it. There have been times I've felt the need to defend my choice to strangers when I really just wanted to say mind your own business. I don't think either breast or formula is the end all to a best outcome and I believe that families should make the decision what works best for them at that time.
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Permalink Reply by MandyJay on -
Elizabeth Vincent said:
I was planning on observing only, withholding comments, but I find myself compelled to tell you, "Christie Henderson", that this is to date THE only sensitive, realistic and objective comment I have ever heard/read both online and in person whenever this topic comes up. I really appreciate your intelligence and the time you took to be so thorough.
There are actually many such discussions and comments regarding breastfeeding (and other issues!) here at Polk Moms :) I think one helpful factor is that we often do know each other, or have met, in "real life". This isn't just an anonymous internet forum where folks can hide behind their screens and wax extreme philosophies on either side, so folks tend to keep their big girl panties on, LOL.
For my own experience, I'd agree that there are too many factors, ultimately, to say how a child's health and well-being will be affected by the method in which that child was fed as an infant. It's such a tiny span of time, and ultimately it is the sum of our parenting decisions and practices as a whole as well as their own inborn proclivities that will lead them in one direction or another, health-wise and personality-wise.
My sons were both primarily breastfed, the first with some formula until he was 13 months old, and the second exclusively breastfed for his first 6 months and then continued nursing until I finally cut him off (I went back to work and, if I'm honest, I was just done) at 18-19 months. They're both bright kids, friendly, and healthy enough. My sister-in-law exclusively formula-fed my nephew, and he's just as bright and overall healthy as my boys. My sister breastfed my niece as much as she was able, but had severe supply problems which required supplementation, and eventually moved to strictly formula. And again, her daughter is brilliant and healthy, at least as healthy as most kids who are allowed to contact germs tend to be.
What I think about "the movement"? For so long formula was pushed as the "modern, scientifically correct" choice. It's taken awhile for breastfeeding and the benefits thereof to catch back on. And let's face it, both methods have their plusses and minuses. I'll tell you this much, when my younger son wouldn't take a bottle ever, that was totally a minus. On the plus side, no bottles to wash! I also believe women who are breastfeeding should be able to do so wherever they and their infants are legally allowed to be. It's a baby. Babies eat. Many babies eat by breastfeeding. It's just a breast, folks. Adapt. They're not just for selling beer, yanno?
What makes me nuts is this "Are you mom enough?" garbage, like the Time magazine cover, and associated articles/ philosophies of their ilk. Motherhood is fraught enough with tension and worry (am I scarring my child for life by letting him cry/ not letting him cry/ giving him a pacifier/ taking away his pacifier/ washing his blankie/ ARRRGHH!!!), and I don't need other mothers or the media telling me I'm inferior based on a specific parenting practice. I don't need folks questioning why I gave my older son formula and how that has doubtless contributed to how he didn't test into the gifted program and my younger son did. The older son? Straight A's. The younger son? Technically brilliant, but every school year I'm ripping out my blasted hair worrying if this is the year he'll try to Christmas-tree the FCAT. Just because it sounded like a good idea at the time *eyeroll*
And then there's my sister. She lives in an area of the country that is so breastfeeding-friendly that any mother not breastfeeding is viewed with suspicion. She tried everything -- and I mean everything -- to be able to breastfeed her daughter. She even ended up in the ER due to a reaction to a supplement she was taking to try to increase her supply. And still, people had the nerve to try to tell her that, clearly, she didn't try hard enough. Did she try this? Did she try that? Well, did she try it this way? Because obviously if she had, she's be able to breastfeed...
Newsflash, boobie brigade: she did. And she couldn't. It happens. Ease off.
I just wish we could be more supportive of each other as mothers overall, rather than focus on the minutiae of things like how we feed our kids. Because ultimately, the liquid our kids drink for the first 6 months to a year of life (which is how long breastmilk or formula is the primary food source in first-world nations) just isn't the sum total of our parenting. Period.
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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth Vincent on
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You ladies are so awesome. I'm quite new to this site and actually new to Lakeland, and I don't know many people at all. I'm so glad I stumbled upon this site because the majority of moms here seem to be open and intelligent and I haven't gotten that in other forums. (MandyJay,I didn't know about many of the other posts about feeding- like I said I'm new here and I've only read a handful of discussions. But thanks for letting me know.)
Also, good point on the breastfeeding in public and especially your comments on the Time magazine cover. I don't know anyone in real life who wasn't offended by the "Are you mom enough?" title.
You guys are making it hard for me to just be an observer! LOL
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer Sabin on -
The benefits of breastfeeding are about more than the actual breast milk. The skin to skin contact, and the way our bodies regulate to the needs of our infants is also very important.
Consider the way a baby is held when being nursed compared to when they are bottle fed. Research has shown that a baby's eyes have a very fort focal length, which happens to correspond to the distance between their and the mother's eyes while nursing. It is possible to mimic this with a bottle, but it takes a conscious effort to do so.
Another benefit of nursing that is harder to regular with bottles is the baby's ability to stop when full. Some have argued that part of the reason for our child hood obesity epidemic is bottle feeding, including both the mechanics of it, and the content of the formula. Because of the mechanics of how a bottle nipple works, a baby is less capable of stopping when full. With nursing, if the baby doesn't work for it, there is no milk. Babies also have the ability to do non-nutritional sucking, aka using the breast as a pacifier. This is soothing to them and may enhance attachment between mother and child.
I think there is a popular misconception about La Leche League as well. I have participated in our local group for nearly 4 years now (on and off) and am encouraged to know that our local leadership, at the direction of the national organization, do not allow formula bashing. When I finally came to a point that I could no longer be a full-time, pumping mom, I consulted with LLL to deal with it. In part, my mothering is defined by my decision to breast feed until the child weaned themselves. So, it was difficult for me to accept that I couldn't follow through on that decision. And you know what I was told by my favorite LLL leader, "the goal is to nourish the child." She didn't condemn me or make me feel guilty for not sticking with my pump a little while longer (it had already been 8 months!). She encouraged me and was there for me as we transitioned to formula.
Welcome to Lakeland Elizabeth!
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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth Vincent on
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Thanks for the welcome and the input!
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Permalink Reply by MandyJay on
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Jennifer, I'll absolutely second your kudos to our local LLL -- they are awesome (and are definitely NOT the "boobie brigade" I referenced in my initial post on this topic, LOL). When I couldn't latch my older son on for hours and hours due to severe, rock-hard engorgement they were everything helpful, and didn't say a word about my choice to supplement with formula (the child was crying and hungry and at that point I didn't care about nipple confusion or anything -- my baby needed food). They just helped me find a pump (thanks, Carla!), supported me in continuing to work at it, and definitely gave me the impression they were more worried about me and my baby than whether I'd "sullied" my nursing relationship with formula.
For the record, within a week I had him back on the breast and nursed him exclusively for several months before starting in on solids. He was also my more flexible child with feeding methods -- breast, bottle, cup, was there food in it? He was there! Blessed child, LOL
The LC my sister had where she lives, too, was excellent. When my sister was having so many problems she looked at her and said that there were two rules: 1) enjoy the baby; and 2) feed the baby. In that order. When the feeding method is taking over everything, it's time to re-assess priorities and options.
I agree that breastfeeding is the natural, optimal method for feeding our children. But with a loving, concerned, involved mother, bottle feeding doesn't have to involve less contact and care. I think the assumption that we are all looking to our children's optimal development is key. In some circumstances, breastfeeding will ensure that. In other cases, the angst over breastfeeding, supply, work, and any other concerns can so overwhelm a family that relationships suffer. If switching over to another feeding method can fix that, then to be honest, I'm all for it.
Parenting isn't one-size-fits all, and that goes for just about every aspect. I've noticed I'm way less hard-core about everything as I get older... except for the need to be understanding and accepting of others' parenting choices*. Regarding that, I'm pretty danged hardcore.
*Insert standard disclaimer here regarding safety concerns (thou shalt use car seats!) etc... but honestly, cloth vs. disposable, binkie vs. not, breastfeeding vs. formula... I'm not even going to blink.
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Permalink Reply by Macaela on -
LOL @ boobie brigade!!!!
I cannot produce adequate milk due to PCOS, so the breastfeeding/formula is a non-issue with me...I just can't. Both my boys were on Similac from birth and both have asthma, but so do all my siblings who were breastfed. I think breastfeeding is a better option, but not the "noble and all holy" option that it is often made out to be. I believe most moms would breastfeed if their body or schedule would allow it, but reality knocks really hard.
IMO, most of the parameters for comparing breast vs formula babies is ridiculously subjective. There's a real limit to testing who's smarter, healthier, more adjusted, more social, more bonded....yada yada yada.
People should really focus more on what goes into their kid's heart and mind than what goes in their stomach. THAT is what really determines most of the above.
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Permalink Reply by Bryssy on -
I am definitely an advocate of breastfeeing. My oldest two nursed until after they were 2 years old and my youngest (20 months) is still nursing. I have a friend that told me that I was "all boob, all the time" during a growth spurt with my youngest - I think I nursed him 22 hours of the day for several days. Pretty funny. My kids don't have allergies nor have they had ear infections and I would credit nursing and passing on my immunities for a lot of that.
That said, I think every mom should do what works for them. There is no judgment from my end. Every mom knows her own child and family best. No one else lives your life - so you decide. :-)
As for a movement, it's great that breastfeeding is getting exposure for being a good and healthy choice. Other than that, I don't follow (or try to get sucked into) the mommy drama. There is enough pressure on families already.
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