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Mom w/ Breast Cancer denied custody

I hope this wasn't previously posted - sorry if it was, but I did a search and didn't see it.

http://www.parentdish.com/2011/05/11/mom-with-breast-cancer-denied-...|main5|dl12|sec1_lnk3|62187

What do you all think of this story? There was an msnbc video, since she was also on the today show as well: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/42986817#42986817

I didn't get a chance to listen to the video.

However I do have mixed feelings on the ruling; this has to be a hard decision for that judge (or any judge to have to make) I sympathize with the fact she has cancer and is receiving proper treatment; which may be the death of her though that isn't certain nor is there a time stamp of "when". But for the well-being of the children, it is difficult to deal with something this major and they need to be thought of. While I get that they may not have time with her and need time with the other parent (to form that bond, since he'll receive custody when she does succumb to her illness); perhaps additional details of the custody arrangement could have been agreed upon. For example, since she's not working (which is another factor to the well-being of the children - how are they being provided for???!!) Why couldn't the father temporarily move to the area where she is receiving her treatment so that she can still spend quality time with the kids while she has it left and they still can form that bond with their father. JMO - it seems if it was bitter before, the father just had more fuel to add to the fire and the judge seen his side. Someone needs to lookout for the kids - they are young and having to deal with a potentially terminally ill parent has to be rough and the story doesn't say if they are in counseling, how often they currently visit their father (now), etc. So there are still a lot of open questions.

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Permalink Reply by courtney on May 12, 2011 at 8:12am

this story hits too close to home for me. i had a terminal parent growing up. and it's a shame there taking the kids away.

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Permalink Reply by Alicia (Alsan) on May 12, 2011 at 8:52am

This story has been weighing heavy and my heart and in my mind since I read it yesterday. I somewhat the logic of the kids being with dad because at some point when mom passes they would have to live with him anyway, so in some way I think the judge is trying to prevent a later transition by having them with him now., On the other hand, those kids are being robbed of spending time with their mom, time they'll never be able to get back, and that breaks my heart. I understand to an extent that living with a terminal parent would be stressful, and that she isn't employed so there is the question of their basic needs being able to be met. But my goodness, life is stressful, kids lose parents and yes it's terrible and tragic, but to deny them that time with their mom is stressful and tragic too. Also, I can't help but wonder of the implications of the ruling, will a healthy parent be deemed a better choice over an epileptic, a transplant recipient, a diabetic? They all have a higher risk of early death.

At the end of the day for me, it comes down to shame on dad. IMO, if he truly wanted what was best for his kids then come up with an arrangement where the parents live in the same town or at least within a few hours drive to be able to share custody and allow mom to continue her treatment at Duke. It's been a bitter custody battle and that's the most heartbreaking of all. Everybody dies. We just don't know when. My grandmother has been living with a type of cancer for 10+ years that typically has a survival of 3-4 yrs. Yet, everyday children lose a parent due to a car accident, unexpectedly.

I did find this statement in another article:

And as with most custody battles, Giordano and Snyder's case is a complicated one, complete with restraining orders, mental health concerns, and allegations of cheating and domestic violence. Giordano's cancer was certainly not the only factor at play in the court's decision.

Judge Cites Mom's Breast Cancer in Denying Custody

The whole story is incredibly sad and my heart breaks for the kids stuck in the middle.