Connecting moms in Polk County, Fla.
Our kids are in college and I just found out I am pregnant. It's pretty devastating news to all of us. The older kids are embarrassed and my husband is shocked but no one is really thinking about me. I've never really thought about this happening, but I guess there's always a chance. What's the best way to handle nosy friends, strangers and relatives?
This happened to my mom. She became pregnant at the age of 42 while my brother and I were in high school. You're right, no one really thought about her because we were all too concerned about how it would look to our friends, etc. She decided to go through the pregnancy and in the end we were very happy she did. Don't listen to what others say; it'll make you feel more rotten and confused than you may already be feeling. Just do the best you can to go about your business and don't look back. Everything will turn out fine. - B. W. in Rochester, NY
This happens more frequently than you might think. Even though it may be a surprise to everyone, it's certainly not the end of the world. Yes, it can most definitely change your life and maybe even plans that were in place for many things including vacations, work, personal goals, etc. But if you look at it as a little blessing and choose to have a positive outlook, it will make all the difference in the world and probably be wonderful. Although your immediate family, relatives, friends and the strangers that have the gall to ask weird and personal questions will have their own opinions, you should not feel forced to answer anything that you don't want to. Don't allow insensitive people, regardless of who they are, to ruin this experience for you and certainly don't let them make your life difficult in any way with unwanted, awkward comments or stupid looks. It is what it is and as soon as you get over the initial shock, you will be able to move forward with ease and strength to ignore the weirdos and do what is best for you, your pregnancy and your unborn baby. Follow your doctor's recommendations and don't be embarrassed to ask anything you have a concern about. If you haven't watched Steve Martin and Diane Keaton in Father of the Bride, Part II, do so. It's a heart-warming movie where his daughter announces that she is pregnant and then he finds out that his wife is also expecting a baby. Although your husband may not do all the silly things that he does in the movie to feel younger and better about himself, it may put things in perspective and add a comical mood to the situation.
CAN YOU HELP?
Why do people still gawk at moms who breastfeed in public? My sister breastfeeds her baby and does so whenever or wherever it is necessary. The other day we were at lunch at a restaurant and were asked to either go to the bathroom or leave. I couldn't believe it. What exactly should we have said? Of course, we left but it was disturbing that the manager took this type of position.
To share parenting tips or submit questions, write to: Parent to Parent, 2464 Taylor Road, Suite 131, Wildwood, MO, 63040. Email email@example.com,or go to www.parenttoparent.com which provides a secure and easy way to submit tips or questions. All tips must have city, state and first and last name or initials to be included in the column.