Connecting moms in Polk County, Fla.
First of all, I would like to say thank you for the tickets to Sesame Street Live. My cousin Biggn was having a good day that day, and him and I took the kids to see it. We all had a wonderful time :) Biggn and I laughed more than the kids did, probably because it was a show we grew up with....we all ate cotton candy and pretzels. It was a great time to make memories.
He is not doing well. Fluid keeps accumulating in his abdomen, and the tumors have grown more rapidly than the doctors thought they would. He is on TPN now because he cannot hold down any food or liquids. I go to his house every night to hook up his TPN pump, because he wanted me to do it, no one else. There is a trust thing there....he doesn't have to worry when I take care of those kinds of things, he just knows I'm good at them. I clean his buckets out that he uses when he gets sick, I give him back massages, and I just try to let him know that I'm there for whatever he needs. My daughter is 5 and my son will soon be 2. They know and LOVE their Uncle Biggn. My daughter knows he has cancer, we have talked about that a couple times. But I don't know how to tell her that hes not getting better. I still take them by to see him, because it makes him happy to see the kids. I like to see him smile, and the kids just adore him. I have already made arrangements for my son, for when the "time" comes, but I plan to take my daughter with me to the services. She prays for him every night...she prays that her uncle biggn feels better and sleeps good. :'( It's going to be hard enough on me as it is, but now that I have a little one to add to the mix, I don't know how the emotions are going to be. Any advice that you guys might have would be greatly appreciated. I'm losing my best friend, and my daughter is losing her hero. How do I cope....and how do I help her cope? How do I explain this to her? Should I set up counseling services?
Krista, When my daughter was 5, both my grandmothers died within a week's time. I took my daughter to both funerals mostly because they were in N.C., didn't have a babysitter, etc. Even though it was hard for all of us, it reminded me that kids really are very resilient. I don't know that you'll need to set up counseling (at least not yet), but you should be prepared for questions, lots of them. And they will go on for awhile ... not just the week or even month of the funeral. For months afterward, my daughter asked me about heaven and death. But she didn't seem freaked out, just curious, so I tried to answer them as honestly and on her level as possible. I'm very sorry about your cousin and wish you the best of luck in dealing with your own grief as well as your child's.
I'm so sorry Biggn's not doing well. I've kept you guys in my thoughts and prayers since first hearing about him. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, although it sounds like Sandra had some good advice for you - I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you all.