Polk Moms

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Looking for advice regarding daughters behavior in kindergarten. My Kylie is having a rough time behavioral wise in kindergarten. Since school has started she has probably only had about 20 smiley faces in her agenda. Most everyday it is not listening, playing, not keeping hands to self, running, etc. Yesterday it was some of those issues plus pushing/shoving at p.e. I talk with her every morning about these issues and she understands but just can't seem to do it. Every night is a battle with homework. She will wiggle, get up, change positions, talk, sing, you name it she does it. Took 15 mins just to write whole name and date. She is very smart and is learning regardless but I feel so bad that this is happening. I get very frustrated because I know she can do the work but she just won't sit. She ends up crying, I end up walking away and giving up. She wAs good in PreK because the class was smaller and her teachers kept her busy. Her 6 yr check up is not tell Jan and I don't know should I make an appt now and have her evaluated. Her teacher really doesn't say much about it.

I'm sure others have dealt with this. Need some encouragement and advise.

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I understand just where your coming from and posted recently the same under the topic Attention Deficit Disorder.  He did great in Pre-k but now it is another story entirely.  Like you said, daily comments in agenda - can't keep still, throwing things, rolling around on the floor, hopping like a frog, shoving, talking inappropriately and constantly distracted.  At home it's the same.  He finds everything to put his attention on except his homework - the ceiling a pencil his shoe, up, down, wiggle around - constantly. 

We have arranged a meeting with the teacher, guidance counselor and school pyschologist.  We also have our son's 6 yr check up scheduled tommorow in which we'll bring it up but I was told by the receptionist there is a packet that has to be competed, some by the teacher and then the doctor schedules another appointment for the evaluation.  My concern is this - is this just a typical 6 year old - only because I don't want to put him on medication needlessly but will if absoulutely necessary.  Our neighbor, who has kids that attend the school currently and who also volunteers constantly told us that the teacher my son has is very nit picky and demanding and thier child had this teacher also so I'm doubly confused. 

So I wish you luck on this journey and please keep us updated. 

How in-depth have you talked to her teacher about this?   It's my understanding a teacher shouldn't diagnose but they can recommend an evaluation.  Has he or she done this?

I definitely feel a person can have ADHD and can deal with the symptoms, with or without medicine differently.  Some, over time, can compensate but I do think they are working harder than the "average" folks that don't have to constantly focus on focusing. 


Depending on the level of ADHD, sometimes maturity (knowing how important it is to maintain a track of being on task) and the skills to adapt can form but if this is truly a diagnosis, this is not something to cure but a lifelong journey at learning to cope.

You could keep evaluating her, unless the school is pushing for a resolution, to see if you can form a self-plan or to see if the possible signs you are seeing are just something she was temporarily exhibiting for another reason.

Remember, if the behavior your daughter exhibits does lead to a ADHD diagnosis, it isn't all bad.  Believe it or not, you can find a consistent list of ADHD advantages at abundant sources.  You can find one of those linked here.

Good luck and keep us updated.  Hopefully some more moms can jump on board with their thoughts. :)

And, you may want to chat with mom member, Over-wrked Momma, she had a similar inquiry not long ago. :)

lol, you must have been typing at the same time I was.   I'm glad we are on the same page.  :)

We had the same issues leading up to the start of kindergarten. As parents, you do not want to think that "my child" has ADHD or ADD. No way, no how. We had done all the same things as you, talk everyday before and after school. Take away tv, video games, sit in timeout for 30 minutes, can't eat with the family at dinner time until you can control yourself,,,,etc. Well, it took about 2 months for the school to say to us, that they may have to suspend our son for his behavior ! ! ! Suspend a 5 year old from school ! ! ! Well, I dove nose first into the internet and searched his behavior patterns and sure enough it was all there. Took him to the doctor's office, was diagnosed with ADHD. He has been on medicine ever since and the problems have gone away. the one thing I do warn you about is the medicine. It sometimes can take a while to find the right medicine for your child. You may have to try a few different medicines before you find one that works best for you and your child. Keep good notes.

Thanks for the input. I was going to possibly set up something in the next week or so but have been told she is going to be moved to other class because they had to higher another teacher and they are pulling 4 kids from each clAss to fill it. She happens to be one. I questioned how they decided and was told they picked the ones that academically were stronger and adjust easily. So I kind want to wait and see if maybe she will do better in the other class. Kylie has told me more than once she would do better it she had another teacher. I was also told by her current teacher if she feels there are issues she would either have a note sent home or I would get a call. They are having parent teacher meetings in Nov so maybe I will wait. I'm just so confused and wish I was a stay at home mom. Maybe spending more time with her would help.

I think it's great she is going to be moved.  Hopefully it will resolve the issues.  I was contemplating asking during this parent/teacher/school meeting about moving him.  Not so much becuase I think the teacher is bad, I have alot of respect for what they do, only because a second set of eye and new perspective might be nice.  If a second teacher has the same issues then I would be more willing to consult with his pediatrician about an ADD evaluation.  Good Luck to you and Kylie!

 

I looked at the list of positives with ADHD and they describe my daughter exactly.  That is why I am having issues with this.  I don't want her to turn into a different child with medicine.  I watched a little boy years ago that was ADHD and he was a totally different kid on meds.  He just was kind of there (spaced out alot) and you could tell he was different.  His mother did not give it to him on weekends because of this.  He grew out of it and has since graduated high school and is a wonderful young man.  So I know there is hope.

Shawn Arnold said:

How in-depth have you talked to her teacher about this?   It's my understanding a teacher shouldn't diagnose but they can recommend an evaluation.  Has he or she done this?

I definitely feel a person can have ADHD and can deal with the symptoms, with or without medicine differently.  Some, over time, can compensate but I do think they are working harder than the "average" folks that don't have to constantly focus on focusing. 


Depending on the level of ADHD, sometimes maturity (knowing how important it is to maintain a track of being on task) and the skills to adapt can form but if this is truly a diagnosis, this is not something to cure but a lifelong journey at learning to cope.

You could keep evaluating her, unless the school is pushing for a resolution, to see if you can form a self-plan or to see if the possible signs you are seeing are just something she was temporarily exhibiting for another reason.

Remember, if the behavior your daughter exhibits does lead to a ADHD diagnosis, it isn't all bad.  Believe it or not, you can find a consistent list of ADHD advantages at abundant sources.  You can find one of those linked here.

Good luck and keep us updated.  Hopefully some more moms can jump on board with their thoughts. :)

And, you may want to chat with mom member, Over-wrked Momma, she had a similar inquiry not long ago. :)

Tracy,

   We have been very, very fortunate with our son and his medicine. We did have the "zombie" affect with one medication and at the end of the month, we were no longer using that medicine. Today, our son is still a 9 year old boy, plays baseball, has musical interests is very social and is a great artist. For us, we did not realize how much he was missing in life not being able to focus on any task at all. As a parent, it was tough to swallow but we did it for him. As we always hear,,,,, every child is different. Some children can handle the medicine and some can not. Some use it as a crutch and some do not. Obervation is key with your child, once you go to the doctor. You can always stop taking the medicine all together as well, if you don't like it.

OMG!!! You just described my son to a "T".  He's had those issues for years and still going through it now and he's 12 yrs old.  We just got the approval to up his afternoon ADHD meds in school.  So hopefully next week we will have the meds in and the paperwork to start it.  He has a BAD impulsive issue and that is why we are upping it.  He does take an extended release in the morning, but it only works for a couple hours (not the 6-8 that it should).  Not comfortable on upping that as he will sit there spaced out if we do.  So at noon he gets a lose dose fast acting medication to help. 

Since his issue stems from his brain damage, we were able to skip the pediatrician, psychologists and tests that can take a couple months to get organized and results.  We go through his Neurologist for his medication.  I LOVE them.  No fighting and if it seems to much, we can work him back down as well. 

Takes me forever to get him to do his homework and to sit still.  I'll hear, I'm bored, I'm tired, I'm hungry, or some other excuse.  I have taken away his games and TV time.  Works for a few days and right back.

It took us sometime to warm up to the idea of medication.  The first one we put him on was Aderall XR which was great cause within the 1st week he was completely potty trained (5 yrs old and was still in pull  ups incase he went #2, we had #1 down pat).  After a month I sat crying because he became aggressive, bit and hit a kid in Pre-K.  Went thru the emotions of being a bad mom for putting him thru this, but got the meds changed and what a difference.  Only thing is it suppresses the appetite and was was not gaining weight.  Had to take him off for a summer and BAM!! weight gain and growth spurt.  He's now 5'3", weighs in at 105 pounds and wears a men's size 9 shoe.  No one believes he was a 2 pound preemie at birth.  LOL

Got a bunch of great parents here that can help give you more info than I can.

We are going through the same exact thing right now with my 6 yr old son!!! I am trying to stay away from medicating him. Same thing though, maybe only 3-4 green days in Kindergarten since school started :( so tired of the negativity ... Starting to get upset with his teacher ( it is her 1st year teaching kindergarten) Feel like it is always negative, even when he tries to get a green day. I am curious... What Meds have others tried? I don't want to take my baby's spirit away from him by putting him on Meds. :(

Thank you so much for your expierence.  You are right, I don't want my child labeled but I also want him to succeed. 

To all the other moms who have chimed in, thank you also - your stories have really helped me to honestly look at my son and not through the rose colored glasses us momma's wear.

Marian Boler said:

I completely understand what you are going through. My daughter is in 2nd grade this year and is having the best year of school. We just moved here from Georgia in July and I was concerned how this move would affect her. Thankfully she has adjusted just fine. In Georgia, the prek is a full day and I just knew it was a great opportunity to prepare her for kindergarten. Oh was I wrong. She learned so much and enjoyed prek but kindergarten was a struggle. She had her moments of being slightly physical. If she didnt get her way or brought home a poor conduct note. The teacher and I worked very hard on a reward system to help her adjust to the school routine. This work for a moment (literally). She was very smart for a 5 year old. The issue was never her schoolwork but yet her behavior such as listening and concentration (attention span). My next step was to speak with her Pediatrician about it. It is the hardest thing to hear as a parent that something may be wrong with your child. I did not take it very kindly. I so wanted to fix things and make it better. We made it past Kindergarten and after many physical test and observations it was decided that it was her being a 5/6 year old. Over the summer I realized her behavior getting worse. As a mom I wanted to protect her. I had to repeat simple actions numerous of times. Once first grade started I was so happy for her and excited this ADHD talk was behind us. It took one month in first grade before the letters home began. Riley (my daughter) is busy in class and not concentrating on her work. She is doing good in class but could be doing better if she would "focus". I was lost, didnt know how to help her. So we again took this back to the doctor. The observations began and I realized my response to the same questions a year ago was not very honest. I did not want my daughter labeled. Finally we had options. I was sooooooo against medication or a diagnoses. A suggestion of coffee, yes coffee was tried but she was not having it. By mid year of first grade we finally decided to start Vyvanse. I could see changes but they were not for the better. She grew angry and it was very difficult. I knew this medication was not helping her. March 2012 my daughter was put on Concerta, one of the original medication similiar to Ritalin. I was against it all but I saw a major change in her behavior and mostly schoolwork. My daughter was on a 0.7 reading level to begin First Grade. Basically meant she was 3 months behind according to Georgia standards. She finished First Grade on a 2.1 reading level. Its been 7/8 months on this medication and we all could not be happier. Moving to Florida rocked the boat but I have to say she is enjoying Dixieland Elementary. I had my first conference this week and am a proud mom of a thriving student. She is excelling in her school work and conduct had been great daily. So with all this said my suggestion is to be honest with yourself as the parent of your childs behavior. Hopefully as she matures she is able to cope with ADHD without medication but for now its what we have chosen to use. Sorry so long but this hits home big time. Hope this helps......

Thanks everyone for the info and encouragement.  I am trying a different approach at home and seeing if that will help.  Wednesday was a rough day for all and we were up till 9:30 doing homework.  All because she refused to do it, was having fits, crying, etc.  My husband and I think some of it stems from her being tired and having to come home do homework, eat dinner, take baths and then bed.  We both work and do not get home until 6 or after and there is not much leisure time in the evenings.  I am really working on my attitude towards her and trying to praise her every chance I can instead of always yelling and telling her she has done something wrong. 

Haven't heard anything about her class change yet, so may have to speak with the teacher next week.

I'm taking it one day at a time.

Thanks again.

 

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