Connecting moms in Polk County, Fla.

So, what do you think?

As some of you know by now, I'm fairly new to this site ( but I've gotta say, I love already!) & to the Polk County area in general...I need to get some opinions & insight on a situation that is happening to me right now.

I've been here about 6 months now. I was extremely close to my Adult kids & grandkids, a very hands on kind of parent. To my knowledge it was a "2 way street", nurtured & encouraged on both ends.

But when I moved it was like everything stopped. Before, whenever anything happened or even when it didn't, I was always told about it immediatey. I'm talking about stuff like the grandkids losing a tooth, the adult kids buying a new house, stuff going on in school, jobs, etc. Now I feel so out of the loop.

I was talking to a good friend from where I lived before and she made a comment like "out of site out of mind". My question to all of you is, Is that true? I tried to maintain a relationship with my grandkids by sending cards, texts, setting them up an email account so they & I could email back & forth,calling them frequently, encouraging visits, etc. But there was very little interest. They are young & I feel if their parents don't encourage them or help them out they're kind of at a loss to reciprocate.

Please give me some suggestions on what I should do or not do at this point...thanks

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Stacie (Paco10778) on March 31, 2010 at 1:52pm

I think the out of site out of mind comment is true. On the flip-side.... My family lives in NY and I sometimes feel my daughter gets slighted by my parents. My brother has 2 boys and my sister has a girl who I feel get more attention/affection, more gifts, etc. They were down here a few weeks ago and it was all about my niece and nephew (who came with, the younger nephew didn't have school break yet). But I do call my mom & dad all the time, post pics online-send them pics, etc.

It sounds as though you've done what you can to keep the lines of communication open between your kids & grandkids, just keep it up!! :)

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Theresa on March 31, 2010 at 3:39pm

Stacie, thank you so much for replying to my post. It made me feel good knowing that by reading about my dilemma you think that I've really tried to keep the communication lines open with my kids. I was really beginning to wonder if I was doing something wrong...I understand that when you move away from your loved ones some things are going to change. You're not involved in each others lives as much anymore & that's understandable & a normal thing...I just want to pass on to all the mom's here that if you have moved away from your own mom and still need or want someone local in your life like a "mom" just send me a message. And if you feel like your little ones need some "Grandma" TLC and their own grandma's aren't local, I'm there for that too!...thanks

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jmarr on March 31, 2010 at 9:58pm

My grandmother lived with me growing up, and my grandparents lived next door. I still had to be pushed to go visit my grandparents. My Dad would have to practically beg me. Once I got there, I had a great time and loved the talks we had. Their childhood was so different from mine, growing up in rural Ireland. Looking back, I wish I did visit a bit more. Most kids do need to be pushed by their parents to visit their relatives because they are too busy being kids. Maybe mention it to your kids, that you wish you could speak to the grandkids more often. Try to get on a schedule to talk every weekend on Skype with a camera or something.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Theresa on April 1, 2010 at 2:31am

Thanks for the suggestions Jmarr...I'm Italian & was raised in a very close knit family. My grandparents like yours lived next door too. My granfather also lived with me during my teen years. I, like you had to be told by my parents to go & see my grandparents. But, I'm so glad I did. Most of the wonderful memories I have of my childhood were so much better with my grandparents in them & being part of them...I guess I'm feeling right now that children grow up so fast, but now while they're still young I'd like to continue wth the bond that I formed with them. I learned in life, like all other relationships we grow, if they aren't encouraged & nurtured they aren't as strong...The Scype camera is great idea. That is something that my adult kids & I have talked about-Thanks for the reminder.