Teens and Curfews

Weekly Parenting Column by Jodie Lynn

Kids are out of school, including my two teenagers, one girl, 16 years old, and one boy, 18. Now that they both drive, they think they can come and go as they please. We still want them to adhere to our original curfews. However, they both have jobs. How is the best way to enforce curfews if teens work night shifts?

Depending if your teenagers are working full time positions, you could tell them to ask for more day shifts. Most companies will work with schedules of teenagers, especially if they are a full time employee. If it is part time, there may not be too much time or variety of shifts to negotiate. We have seventeen year old twins, one boy and one girl. They would not work with our son on his late hours but did so for my daughter. We had to accept the fact that our son would be out later and knew he would miss his curfew at least three times each week. As long as we were notified of his schedule, it worked out fine. The way we looked at it, we'd rather have him out than our daughter, plus, he wasn't the one who was always late with curfew, she was. - Bill and Renae J. in Jackson, MS

FROM JODIE:

Since your son is 18, unless there is a specific reason he needs the same curfew as your daughter, he should have a later one than her. After all, she is two years younger. That is one of the privileges of being two years older and, hopefully, wiser. Even if it is only an hour, it could help him keep a little more flexibility in his schedule at night. You might talk directly with your daughter's boss and share your concern about late night hours. Perhaps they might be a tad more willing to work with you on her schedule. If not, you could take turns with your husband in taking her to and picking her up from the shifts that go beyond her established curfew. This way, there wouldn't be any questions or arguments pertaining to her adhering to the time you've given her to be home safe and sound, and you would always know her schedule beforehand.

CAN YOU HELP?

My three-year-old twin boys will be four on July 4th. I would like to combine their birthday with the holiday. My sister and mom feel that this is inappropriate. Although we rotate celebrating the holiday at different relatives' houses, this year it is at mine. By combining the twins' birthday and the cookout, it would certainly kill two birds with one stone and save money. Is there anything wrong with this?

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