Connecting moms in Polk County, Fla.
Terrible Twos at FOUR?!
OK, so a lot of you know that I'm totally pressed for time right now, and so I'm not on PolkMoms as much as I'd like. That means that I MUST be at my wits end and really need my mom chicks to help me out here.
Hayley did not eat her lunch at preschool today. Like 4 bites of soup, some crackers and a couple of bites of applesauce is all. Then she only ate a breadstick and picked the pepperoni off her pizza for dinner. She had chocolate milk at 8:30, just before bed. Soooo, here it is a bit after 10pm and she has been hollering in her room for half an hour. Turns out she is starving (go figure?!), so John gives her a string cheese. What do I do about this not eating at mealtime thing?! It is annoying and I have to get her to sit at mealtimes and actually eat. No, it is not always possible for us to eat together as a family in the evenings, but we try as often as we can...more than 50% of the time, but her getting up and giving attitude if she isn't the center of attention has to end soon!
Beyond that, she has suddenly become a sickly child. She was on antibiotics before Christmas. Since mid-January she has been on oral antibiotics twice more, had pink eye and drops for that, then had two weeks of 4-times-a-day breathing treatments for walking pneumonia AND had 5 stitches in her knee (we spent Valentine's morning in Bartow's ER). We are planning on taking up the carpet in her room and putting hard flooring in. The ped won't allergy test her (not that I really want to put her through that) until "she is on 3-4 medications and nothing is working". Whatever has her immune system worked up is making her a cranky piece of work, and I'm about at the end of my rope.
Has anyone else had a kid go through all this stuff at such a wonky time? Every 4-year old I've ever known has been pretty mellow and sweet. HELP! At least let me know I'm not crazy and I haven't yet become a card carrying member of the bottom-of-the-barrel parents' club!
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jules Bohanon on -
For me, the twos were delightful, and four was much harder. My normally angelic, compliant boy became a back-talking smarty-pants at age 4. All my mommy friends experienced the same thing: defiance. Four is the age when kids really test the limits of authority. If you give them an inch, they'll take a mile. They need structure and discipline. As hard as it is when your 4-year-old begs for food at 10 pm, you tell her, "I hear that you're hungry, honey, but suppertime is at 6. That's when we eat, not in the middle of the night. Sleep well, you can have breakfast in the morning." That's it, no negotiation. My son (now 5) used to skip meals at that age, and when he sat at the dinner table not eating, we started warning him: only water before bed. Before we figured that out, he was relying on that bedtime milk to fill him up.
My daughter sees an asthma/allergy specialist (outside Polk County) and she said the pollens are really high right now, especially after long rains. She's been on Singulair (chewable) and Astepro nasal spray since barely age 2, and she's just over 3 now--it has helped a lot. Anyway...definitely, being sick makes her extra grouchy, and affects her appetite.
Four is a tough age. And the "reward" for getting through it is Kindergarten, where your kids learn all sorts of delightful things from their classmates (especially those with older siblings).
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Permalink Reply by Kris Prater on -
I can feel your pain. Kabri went through this last year. She didn't want to eat what was put in front of her for dinner. I did the same as Jules and told her nothing else for the rest of the night you can have breakfast in the morning. It worked. She started eating if only a little bit. When she started preschool and they give her breakfast, lunch and snack she seemed more interested in eating since all the other kids were eating it. Most days her report home states she ate some, but there are days she eats all. I haven't had a day in a long time where she won't eat anything.
I also agree that being sick might be making her more cranky. I know when I don't feel well I just want to be left alone.
Let me know if you need any help!
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Permalink Reply by Angela Marks on -
Jules, this is totally how I feel: "For me, the twos were delightful, and four was much harder. My normally angelic, compliant boy became a back-talking smarty-pants at age 4. (All my mommy friends experienced the same thing: defiance. Except for this, which is new to me!) Four is the age when kids really test the limits of authority. If you give them an inch, they'll take a mile." Now, if I could just get my husband to understand that last sentence.
I do think that some of her attitude issue is also the fact that she doesn't feel well. That makes her not sleep well too, and, unfortunately, it does make us a little lax about "giving in" to her hunger. Let's face it, a sick kid may have a yucky feeling tummy a lot, and no one wants to deal with forcing them to eat when they may face puke later (bleck). Then the crying jag sets her nose/sinuses off and she can't breathe....it is a vicious circle. I have already called the ped this morning. We have a Thursday am appointment and will start breathing treatments again today. I may need to push for an ENT or something at this point. Jules, Hayley is on Singulair and Nasonex spray. The Singulair has been full time since November, but for the 18 months or so before that was as needed. The spray was just added in January. Neither seems to be working at this point. I'm sure the pollen is probably bothering her, and I think dust mites do too. We never had these issues when we lived in a hundred year old sieve of a a farmhouse, but we do in the sealed up tight new one. Any thoughts on that?
Thanks for your thoughts and words of encouragement!
I'll try to swing by more often!
Kris, I'm seriously considering changing preschools for next year. Of course, the danger in that is that what you know can sometimes be better than what you don't! I love the kids and teachers, but you have heard a lot of my concerns about things like cubbies not being tethered to the wall (who'd-a thunk?!) and stuff. Anyway.....I'll have to do some digging soon.
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Permalink Reply by Casey on -
My 5 year old was a sweet, innocent Angel until he was about 4! This is when his attitude changed and he apparently knows everything and I know nothing! I honestly think it's gotten worse since he's been 5. Yesterday he was mad and crying over something silly so I took his picture and showed it to him. You would have thought I just beat him half to death! So, my husband grabbed his phone and started recording his tantrum and once he calmed down we showed him the video of how he was acting. (this has nothing to do w/ your daughter- I'm just venting too), but if you were to come to my house he would be the sweetest and most loving child you've ever met! He just has his "I wanna drive mom crazy" moments every once in a while and he's very good at it.
Just after Jacobs 3rd birthday he had tubes put in his ears and his tonsils & adnoids (sp?) removed and it's made a world of difference as far as him being sick. He was sick ALL the time- seriously all the time until his surgery. Right after his surgery I was really hard on myself for putting him through it and wondered if I made the right decision and now I am 100% sure that I did and I'd do it all again if I had too.
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