Connecting moms in Polk County, Fla.
Do you know who you want in the delivery room with you?
You may immediately decide you want it to be the father of your baby. You may automatically want it to be a sister or a best friend, or even your own mother. With most birthing centers having limits on how many can attend active labor, who do you choose?
My oldest son is from my first marriage and my younger two are from my second marriage. I will say I was disappointed by both roles of the fathers during my labors (one was a tad-bit better than the other) so my advice to expecting moms, if you have an expectation from the father-to-be in the delivery room, you two need to talk about it before the big day.
I had one husband tell me to keep my moaning down during contractions so he could sleep and the other was MIA when I was told it was time to push. Hospital staff took pity on me and was nice enough to go look for him only to find him 3 floors down in the lobby asleep. I pushed the whole time surrounded by strangers and he literally just made it in time to see my son born at the last minute.
So, yeah, let my bitter tinge be an upfront disclosure in your story of what you are not willing to deal with; no missing in action and you might want to warn them you will likely make moaning sounds and they better well deal with it.
For those undecided, you might find the following quiz fun:
For those of you that have delivered, who did you choose to go in with you? Has any of you had requests from mother-in-laws to go in during labor?
With my first and second, my husband, mom, and a friend were in the room. My MIL tried to stay in the room while I had my first, but my husband asked her to leave because he knew I didn't want her there. My husband was the only one in the room when I had our third.
I have to say, my husband was super supportive during labor and delivery. He rarely left my side. Luckily he wasn't bothered by the moans or screams because I'm very vocal. I moaned and screamed during every labor and delivery. lol The only thing he did was go try to get me pain meds from the nurses.
Shawn, I'm sorry your husbands didn't take on a better supporting role. Shame on them! I can't even imagine how upsetting that would be.
ETA:This time around, as long as my husband is in the room, I don't really care who else is there. Honestly, even if my MIL is at the hospital when I deliver, I'll allow her in.
Obviously it was not my deliverys, but my wife's. Our first was at a military base and I was not allowed to join her. Neither was her mother who had traveled to assist. Our son was born at LRMC by Caesarian and I was allowed to attend and hold my wife's hand the whole time until taken to recovery. I was summoned again before she woke to be there again. The staff was quite worried about me, but life and experience had already prepared me. Later when she was in a room, I asked the nurse what I was to do with the scrubs they had me wear? Her answer was "I have no idea, no one ever tried to return them before". So LRMC, I still have them hanging in my closet 27 years later. A successful marriage is a challenge to maintain and it will not always be nice or easy. I know some guys read this section and my advice is to give advice, but always be prepared to negotiate anything, even the trivial. Always be there to support and encourage her.
My husband was front and center when we had my daughter. I wish now I had let my mother be there but for some reason at that time I only wanted my husband. We basically did most of the pushing with just him and I in the room. I had my daughter 3 days before Christmas and they were so busy with delivering babies, nurses where jumping from room to room. They had people in what they called hallway rooms. It was a no room at the inn kind of weekend. So having my husband there was definitley needed. I knew how my husband would be in the room because of the way he was always attentive to me prior to that. I think most women would know how their husband would act just by their behavior with their wife prior.