Polk Moms

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I have 5 boys. The youngest 2 are not potty trained and finally in April with one of them just turned 3 and the other fast approaching his 5th birthday in May, I put my foot down and said ENOUGH! It's time to use the potty once and for all. Well 2 months later it's still a work in progress…
The first challenge was just to get the older one out of diapers. He was very attached to them and doesn't like change. We have probably every boy character underwear known to man, cause you know having favorite characters helps. We have Thomas and many of his friends, Woody and Buzz, Yo Gabba Gabba, Teletubbies, Diego, Spiderman, as well as cars, helicopters, animals - really the list goes on and on. But no, he was having none of them. So I told him too bad - no more diapers and endured a couple days of screaming and he started wearing underwear (backwards so the big picture is in front so its easy to be seen - but that‘s not a battle worth fighting) . Ahhhh…..the first battle won.

To be honest, not peeing in underwear all in all wasn’t too bad. After the first week we have had very few accidents in their underwear. Like a fool I thought this won’t be too bad. I mean after all I have 3 others who are successful users of the toilet. Well…they then discovered the fun of having “weiners” - WHY, YOU CAN POINT THOSE THINGS ANYWHERE! First the joy of peeing outside was discovered. I’m not quite sure how that started because even at home I its not something that I have ever been amused by. But they will go running out the door even when inside just to go pee in the grass. Then the older one started pointing his “weiner” up, making the pee a fun high arch. You would think the first time he peed in his own face that would stop, but alas no - he peed in his face several times. He does that inside too, in the bathroom. Next came aiming for the dogs - how much fun a moving target is!! Then one day all five were playing out back, the oldest 3 on the swings and I was pulling weeds. All of a sudden I hear screaming! The 5 yr old peed on my 8 yr old as he was swinging. Sigh. He also tries to whip it out wherever we are to pee in the grass or on the landscaping so I’m trying to never look away (but with 5 I have to turn my eyes away sometimes) and am trying to teach him that he can only pee in the potty. ONLY. No outside. Just the other night we went out to dinner and he got out of the van first, as I was getting his brother out of the van I spotted him about to pee outside the restaurant, thank goodness there was no one sitting in the tables by the windows!

Pooping in the potty is a much different matter. They want no part of it - no way, no how. The 3 yr old would have been OK I think if not for the reaction from the 5 yr old. He actually told me his brother will be mad. The 5 yr old freaks out - FREAKS OUT! So in my brilliance, I had the 5 yr old go naked in the house. Well…he’s pooped on the floor a couple times, stood on the bathroom counter and pooped on it while I was in the shower, hid behind the couch to do it. So the underwear went back on and he just poops in that saying “I didn’t know it was coming!!” He has always freaked out just getting the poop cleaned off yelling “Don’t let me see!” so I don’t know how we’ll get past that one. Honestly I am so very very close to putting him in Pull Ups and giving up but it probably won‘t help since he can take them off if he wants to.

All this has also started them playing in the toilets which they never did as young toddlers. They give toys baths in there, throw the roll of toilet paper in there, flush over and over, etc. I want so badly to lock the bathroom doors so I can get something done around here, but then how can they go potty? I have actually caught them and been cleaning one bathroom only to finish and find them playing in the other one. A shower? Forget about it - I try not to leave them unattended for even 5 minutes. Getting the dishes done? Vacuuming? Taking out the garbage? My husband comes home and will make a comment about the state of the house or about me not showering…. Really?! Have you met these kids? The newest culprit for everything is “the invisible man” Everything is his fault. Just today he peed just a bit in his underwear leaving a wet spot and he told me the invisible man barfed on his underwear. I just pray I can get some kind of a handle on it by August when kindergarten starts, and that he takes the invisible man with him.

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